Thursday, January 26, 2012

Soul-Searching and Self-Doubt

I read this article recently about Queen Elizabeth's Coronation Maids of Honour, and I found myself hung up on this quote from Lady Rosemary Muir (who was, at the time of the coronation, Lady Rosemary Spencer-Churchill):

Soul-searching and self-doubt is such a modern thing . . .

These words came back to my mind today, as I drove to the office, agonizing over yet another screaming-crying goodbye with the Moose when I left him at daycare.  

What am I doing wrong that he cries like that when I leave?  And why now - this has been our routine since he was a baby?

If Lady Rosemary's words are, indeed, a correct sociological observation, I might have be spared such thoughts, such guilt, were I born to a different time.

Then again, perhaps soul-searching and self-doubt are indicative of the evolution of human understanding and human connection, and I am better off with sadness (and a few tears of my own) if it leads to a better response to my son's emotional needs.

Or is he just going through a phase?

Or maybe I just need some more coffee?

What do you think? Is soul-searching (and, yes, self-doubt) better for us in the long run?  Or is ignorance bliss?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Victoria,
    Thanks for stopping by at yarn along last week. I just made my way over to have a look around. This post really struck me for many reasons. One thing I would like to offer up to you. As a mama and a teacher of young children I have been through both sides of the screaming, crying drop off (and through phases of the screaming all the way to Daycare drive.) It almost always is a sign of strong attachment and love between parent and child. They love us and want to be with us. The good news, almost always, as soon as we are out the door, they love their caregiver and friends and are happy to be with them. I think, in most cases, it is harder on us than them. I wish it would be okay to have Bailey's in that extra cup of coffee... it might help a lot!