Wednesday, May 21, 2014

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Moose is having a hard time getting used to the idea that, just because you say please doesn't mean you get what you've asked for. And when I say hard time, I mean sometimes an all out tantrum ensues. When I'm on my game, I try to diffuse the situation with a goofy song. It helps me keep my cool, it's a pressure release on my snark-o-meter, and it often distracts him enough that we can move past whatever has gotten him riled.

Sometimes I sing "It's the End of the World" by R.E.M. Recently I've turned to the Rolling Stones classic "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

Today the universe sang it back to me.

Mouse is struggling with a bout of something that may or may not turn out to be asthma. After her second dose of oral steroid last night, she became a fussy, fidgety monster and, ultimately, I did not finally get to sleep until after 1:00 this morning. Up again around 5:00. Up for good with Moose at 7:00, with the added challenge of joints that had locked up during what felt like an all-too-brief period of inactivity.

No doubt about it: I was a cranky puss this morning.

As I made the bed, I grumbled some half-intelligible prayer asking that, at least for today, could my hands please loosen up before noon. I started a pot of coffee and sent a vague, pitty-me text to a friend about how I hated prednisone even more than albutrerol (which I never thought possible).

About 30 seconds later my phone rang.

It was my friend. From nearly 700 miles away. Who I haven't seen since October. Who I last texted with from a physical therapy session in March.

And I got what I needed.

Sympathy. Understanding (her son suffers from asthma). Connection. Distraction (she just planted some wisteria). Perspective (she sees the hematologist today to find out if she has to stay on blood thinners post-PE last autumn).

I drafted this post from my phone at the park in bits and pieces between pushing Mouse on the swing, catching Mouse on the slide, saving Moose from a bumblebee.  My hands were still stiff and tender. I was fighting yawns.

I did not get what I asked for.

But I got what I needed (and it was even better).

When was the last time you got what you needed, even if it wasn't what you asked for or thought you wanted?

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